Day 1 - Recap (from home after 2 glasses of box wine)

It took about two and a half hours to get processed before the actual beautification of Hollywood could begin. Standing in various lines to get my finger electronically scanned, t-shirt issued, rules agreed to, etc. I had to practice a bit of pranayama to stave off an anxiety attack. Though, I did meet a nice man in line who told me never to talk about 'what you are in for.' As in, what you did to 'catch a case.' He claimed that when he was incarcerated, they planted a guard in his cell to listen in on the boasts of his cellmates. Who were then, horribly, convicted of even more crimes!

So now my pat answer to the question, "Mister, why are you doing community service?" Is "I was in a fight with a guy, and I had to stab him in the neck." Not true of course, but it ends the chit-chat.

We are broken into several 'crews.' I get assigned to my 'trustee' Willie. Ok, I'm embellishing, but I love prison jargon. Picture Granny from the Beverley Hillbillies, except black and male. He is about seventy-five, thin, and smokes a couple of Winstons during the day. Nice guy, but will pull a grumpy when necessary to keep the 'virgins' in line.

So out we go into Tinseltown!

But first another glass of box-wine...

I think we actually got started working at about nine-thirty. We all piled into a flatbed Ford with brooms and those long-handled dustpan things and headed to the eastern reaches of Hollywood. I am talking east of Little Armenia. Everyone piled out at a Seven Eleven, grabbed their brooms and started sweeping with flair. I was tapped on the arm by Willie. He had plans for me, which meant I got to ride on the truck the entire day hoisting the bags of trash into the back, listening to old school R&B , and second-hand-smoking Winstons. Not bad actually. Got a bit of a deltoid workout, I think.

Now, I must watch episode three of John Adams.